Simplicity is not as simple as I thought!

You know something, I had plans for 2011...I mean big plans...plans that included simplifying my life in all areas, focusing on needs not wants, enjoying good health, family, friends etc and blogging about it. That DID NOT happen!

Oh I simplified, but I didn't blog about it. Why you ask? Well the short answer is that I didn't think it was exciting enough for anyone to actually care. So I gave up. I mean do you really care that I cleaned out my closets or that I managed to get rid of the boxes in my basement that I have moved 3 times and never opened? Do you care that I cut out processed foods and STILL struggle to eat unless I'm at home? It appears from what I am hearing that you do...you actually DO care. So today I begin blogging again.

So what do you need to know from my experiment last year? You need to know that simplicity is NOT simple. It's hard...I mean uber....Arnold Schwartzeneger Terminator hard. It is an ongoing battle between you and society....an ongoing "gone back to highschool popularity contest" hard. It is a constant battle between those adorable glittery Nine West Slingbacks that you might wear once...but they are soooooo on sale and actually enjoying the room in your closet and wearing EVERYTHING you own. It is a constant battle between enjoying a simple soup of locally grown vegetables and organic bread and stopping at McDonald's  on your way home from a busy day to scarf down a BIG MAC while texting and driving.

Simplicity is not simple but it IS deeply satisying. So give it a shot. Start with one thing...get rid of the late night stops for a Big Mac....actually cook one night a week....use a crockpot.....talk to your family while cooking....better yet....get them to help. Eat something warm and follow it up with cookies because everything  is better with cookies....start simply and see where  it takes you.

I wish you a simply beautiful 2012...with cookies!

Following my Joy!

So I've been away for a while healing from some crazy health stuff which has not made my life simple at all.

What has made it simple is the desire to "follow my joy". So what does that mean? Well, some would say it's living life on the side of happy, others would say it's delusional and that you shouldn't be joyful, you should be responsible...well I've done responsible and I mean BIG responsible. I'm talking responsible for the whole world responsible and I'm all finished with that. I am going to take care of my stuff and you can take care of yours. if you need my help, hey ask me and if you're actually willing to do something about it and just need a hand...I'm there.

In the meantime, I'm following my joy. That means kids, puppies, gardens, outside, maybe just maybe even a ride on the hubby's V-Rod from time to time. It also means that I am literally following my joy in my new fave food blog joythebaker.com. She is a goddess of food and makes simple amazing.

I think that everyone should follow their joy AND Joy the Baker....because she's cool.

Giving Feels Good!

I just gave away 2 old TV's and a gaming system to our local homeless shelter and I can't tell you how good it feels.

I have been talking to people recently about the frustration they have encountered in trying to give away old electronic like tv's etc because apparently no one wants them and no one will take them. I couldn't believe the stupidity of those statements and thought "seriously...if you have nothing isn't something better than nothing?!"

So one phone call to our local shelter and bang....they are coming to pick them up on Tuesday. The funny part is that I was thanking them so much for taking them AND coming to get them that the man at the shelter started to laugh and said "Lady, stop thanking ME...YOU are giving the stuff to US!"

I guess that is what a real win/win feels like.

Tips for clutter busting a Tween's room

As I've told you before, my children are viewing this simplicity experiment as something kindof stupid since their lives are about as simple as it gets. You can imagine then, how much support I am getting on the January Clutter Busting that is happening.

I thought that I was a fairly brilliant mother when I had my husband build cubbys for my kids at our front door so that they could keep all of their shoes, coats, sports equipment and general crap in them and for the most part it works. The issue is that they are all now beginning to turn into large human beings and their crap is getting bigger and is seemingly multiplying despite my best efforts.

This brings me to the subject of their bedrooms....HOLY CRAP. I have been downscaling what we buy for the kids for a while now in an effort to simplify and keep the clutter down and Christmas this year was no exception. They got a couple of big things and that was it. They were also happy. However, in their rooms, I am astounded to find unbelievable amounts of things that have somehow survived the regular purging that I do.

This becomes the issue because getting them to help is a horror show because really, we can't throw out their stuff because it's all so important! Even the half filled lip gloss from 5 years ago is something that my daughter just LOVES! The other issue with getting rid of kid stuff is that even a purger like me gets caught in the trap of sentimentalism. Old McDonald's toys I have no problem throwing out but the bunny that went to kindergarten and still has orange paint on her from craft time....even a hardass like me can't bring myself to do it.

I've come to the conclusion that when working with decluttering kids rooms, you are better off using a flame thrower from a distance than getting them to help or delving deeply into the memories. Maybe I should just leave their rooms alone unless something smells and they can deal with it when they move out!

The Medical System is not simple.

By now, if you've read any of this blog, you know that I have been struggling with some bothersome yet not serious health issues. Just enough to take me out of my regular life while I heal but not enough to devastate my life completely.

Being that I am a bit of a simpleton by nature and I have committed to simplifying my life, I am attempting to apply that same principle to my healing and medical care. All I can say, is that it is clear that I am an idiot. Every health practitioner that I speak to can only address one set of symptoms and only within their area of expertise. My family doc will only look for one possible option and if other symptoms are present and don't fit within a box of a diagnosis, he blames stress.

Where I ask you is the doctor House's of this world, the ones who will look for the common thread and analyze from there? Too simple you say? Well my family doc thinks so too.

What have I learned? In medical applications, they go out of their way to make things long, hard and painful and one hand does NOT talk to the other. Why you ask? Well because that would be too simple!

I will NEVER be this good.

As part of this experiment, I have been researching how others live a more simple life and over the year will have lots to share. Being that January is declutter the house month, I have been looking for people who have done some interesting things with their homes and how they have implemented the concept of simplicity, efficiency or decluttering in their homes.

Just today, I had this link sent to me about a dude in Hong Kong who has done the single most amazing thing you have ever seen with 350 square feet. He literally uses every single square inch of space to his advantage and the place is absolutely amazing. It is a true marvel of efficiency. Take a look here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg9qnWg9kak

Something I learned when I watched this and then looked around my house is that there really is something in becoming efficient and organized which I can tell you is NOT my strong suit. I couldn't believe how much wasted space I have in my tiny little house....the house that I keep saying is too small. I also couldn't believe how much crap we have even though I am a regular purger and have been purging even more.

When you watch the video, look how happy the guy is. He's in a tiny apartment but surrounded by only what he needs and everything he loves and honestly, the guy looks happy.

My birthday is coming up and I can tell you....don't buy me anything. I honestly don't want any more STUFF! 

Welcome to my first follower!

Thank you to Kristi who actually must read my posts and was kind enough to sign on!!! I thought I would only be writing to myself!

Welcome to the blog, feel free to send me your thoughts and ideas.

So I watched Hoarders....

I have to tell you that show is messed up. I've been hearing people talk about it for ages and I finally watched an episode in the name of research for my decluttering experiment. I cannot tell you how upset I was for the people on that show. I thought I was bad with my 4 year old shrimp sauce in my fridge but wow....I've never seen anything like it.

I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that our possessions define us far more than I realized and they seem to define us more by what we buy and what we keep than the status of the actual possession. I mean a BMW is still a BMW but I'm really starting to see that the less you have the more you seem to appreciate. I have been throwing things out willy nilly and realized that unlike those Hoarders, I have no real attachment to my stuff because I am a) frighteningly practical and b) I can't stand mess. So if something doesn't have a good use or I am totally in love with it, it goes...plain and simple. I am finding that I am looking around my house and seeing the things that I keep and absolutely loving everything I see. I am beginning to feel like my home is starting to really define me.

So to all of you Hoarders out there, hiding behind a wall of crap that you don't need and don't love doesn't make life easier, doesn't make you a better person and sure as hell doesn't give you status. Go and get some help and surround yourself with things you love and you will feel so much better about yourself!

Simplifying the Bucket List

We've all seen "The Bucket List" by now I'm sure and many of us even created our own "Bucket List" after seeing the movie but how many of us actually look at that list and decide whether or not that list really reflects who we are and what we love.

I've been dealing with some strange health issues that no one seems to be able to explain beyond "it's stress". It is entirely possible that it IS stress and that it has been wreaking havoc with my body. It was these strange issues that were a big part of me starting this blog.

What is interesting though, is that as I begin to de clutter my home, I've also had to de clutter my calendar. I've had no choice but to say no to many things, ignore chores that used to be oh so important and have even pared down my reading material which is a feat, I can tell you. The most interesting thing about all of this is that it isn't what I've gotten rid of, but what I am keeping that is starting to tell me what is important to me and more importantly is giving me clues to who I am.

I feel like I am right now working from my own "Bucket List". I know that I'm not dying but I know that I have limited energy available to me so I'm de cluttering my life and focusing on my life at the same time. At the moment, I've taken out work, much of my housework (with the exception of my de cluttering experiment), all social engagements that aren't essential and most importantly, other people's problems. What made the list is listening to my daughter tell me all about Grade 7 boy issues, listening to my son's excitement over a limited edition video game, listening to my youngest read from his new "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" book and snuggling with my husband and bichon whenever possible.

7 weeks ago, when I was well and healthy, these things wouldn't have seemed grand enough for a bucket list but I can tell you with every fibre of my being, that unless you have them on your list, you've already lost your ability to live...

Good God I have a lot of crap....

Day 1 of the January de-clutter started today with the swift and tidy removal of the Christmas tree and decorations. This year I was smart. When I took down all of the decorations, I put them into separate boxes. A box for ornaments I love, a box for ornaments that the kids have made that may never go on the tree again and a box of all of those oddball ornaments that get collected in life. That box only made it as far as the recycling bin and I feel lighter already.

It's also get the kids ready to go back to school day and I have implemented a new system. I rearranged the fridge that now has a full shelf ready for lunches that will be now made the day before. As part of the de cluttering, I felt that the fridge should also get top billing. I cleaned out all of the old sauces and dips and junk that have collected over the last year. I found a jar of shrimp sauce from 2006! Totally gross.

I can't tell you how good it felt to throw out all of the ingredients like capers, asiago bread dip and 3 different teriyaki sauces that all sound the same but are ever so slightly different. It almost made me feel like I now have permission to cook more simply without the pressure of all those finicky ingredients!

So simple tip number 1....keep what you love and throw away the rest...you honestly won't miss it...think shrimp sauce circa 2006!

Simple Plan

Happy New Year. Welcome to the Simple Plan.

In keeping with my new friend Edward DeBono's idea, I decided that this project will be a big fat flop without a definition of what simplicity means to me and what I am going to do about it. So here it is...

Simplicity to me means nothing more than making things easier.I don't think I can make it simpler than that. So my aim is this..

• To look for the simple answer to everything that pops up in my day
• To pose the question, what can I do to make this easier?
• To only use products/services that make life easier
• To rid myself of anything that I own or anything that comes into my life that is not practical or that I deeply love
• To speak from my own truth and engage in relationships that nurture not ones that create drama
• To allow other people to have their own experience whether I agree with it or not.

I will also be picking a theme of the month and listing a learning of the day. January is "Simplifying My Personal Space" Month.

Starting tomorrow, I start throwing crap out. I can't wait to see what makes the cut.

Defining simplicity

Dictionary.com defines simplicity like this...

sim·plic·i·ty

 /sɪmˈplɪsɪti/ Show Spelled[sim-plis-i-tee] Show IPA

–noun, plural -ties.

1.

the state, quality, or an instance of being simple.

2.

freedom from complexity, intricacy, or division into parts: an organism of great simplicity.

3.

absence of luxury, pretentiousness, ornament, etc.; plainness: a life of simplicity.

4.

freedom from deceit or guile; sincerity; artlessness; naturalness: a simplicity of manner.

5.

lack of mental acuteness or shrewdness: Politics is not a field for simplicity about human nature. 

 

Do we even need to discuss how NOT helpful this definition is? The sad part is that I have searched the web for 20 minutes looking for a better and ...well more simple definition and this is the best I could come up with. Now I really understand what Edward DeBono meant when he stressed the importance of defining what simplicity really means to you. 

This I shall do and it shall be clear and simple. I promise.

Christmas Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

Thank you for sending the cold/flu to my family this Christmas. Like many others, almost our entire family was sick this Christmas. This could have made us do many things like...freak out, drag sick people around infecting others or make ourselves sick trying to be ready for the holidays. My family did something else...we accepted where we were and got the opportunity to appreciate a few things we might have missed like:

• My 2 year old nephew letting me wipe his nose and giving me a hug after with those sweet little arms full of love.
• The fact that my beautiful husband willingly gets up in the middle of the night to clean up puke from our floors.
• The way that hot water and lemon feels on a scratchy throat.
• The smile of a child who got "the" gift that they wanted and are content.
• The willingness of everyone to pitch in and help the host of our Christmas festivities even though we were all sick too.
• The abandonment of a traditional turkey dinner over take out Chinese so that we could spend the small amount of time we had together, not cooking and cleaning.
• The love that we all have for each other and the fact that being together was enough.

Although it was most certainly a Christmas where the good things needed to be looked for, I can say as I snuggle up to my toasty warm husband with a cup of hot water and lemon and a box of kleenex, that I couldn't ask for anything better.

So thank you Santa for the ability to slow down and enjoy some of the beautiful things in my life.

Love,

Michelle

The Flu has a way of Simplifying life

Today I was beginning to feel the familiar tension of the season creeping in. 6 days to go until Christmas and I'm still not finished my shopping and although my back is better, I'm still not in any shape to be running all over the place. So as I was consulting my list, adding to it, not deleting, my daughter called from her father's to say..."Mommy I feel so sick".

Knowing that many kids in her class, my brother, nephew and 6 month old niece and other friends have fallen to the flu, there was no doubt that she was the first in our family to go down. Safe to say, that my tension of 6 days left with too much to do could have done one or two things. Either dig deeper and increase my stress levels tenfold or deflate and concentrate on the task at hand. I now live by the principle that "you can't argue what is" (thank you to the beautiful Byron Katie who wrote Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life ).

I have now successfully deleted all but the most important things from my list and if they don't get done....well I trust that the people in my life will love me enough to cut me some slack. Who knew that the flu could be so simple?

Simplicity vs. Efficiency

In reading Edward DeBono's book Simplicity, he said something that really hit home. He says that there is a distinct difference between simplicity and efficiency. In all of my research, I'm finding that most of the books and blogs I'm reading are either focused on helping you to focus your attention to do more OR help you to drop everything and do relatively little. So far, I haven't found much literature on how to just plain make your life more simple BUT to help you to manoeuvre through the intense amount of complexity that has become our lives.

I don't want to become more efficient so that I can do more. I want to focus on the things that matter, appreciate the simple things in life BUT still live in the complexity. If I don't find a way to live in the in between place and have an appreciation of both, I will never have anyone to talk to because people are either in one camp or the other wishing their lives were different.

I guess I'm becoming closer and closer to defining what this project will really mean to me after all.

Simpleology

Well, today I was introduced to the brilliance of Mark Joyner aka Internet Marketing Guru, author and creator of www.simpleology.com a web based program that is designed to help you to simplify your life. True to form, the website focuses on grabbing you by a low monthly fee to unlock all of the brilliant wisdom that lies inside. At this point, I'm open to checking things out but safe to say that I'm not unlocking anything until I decide on the parameters of my experience. I have to say it though, it's an impressive looking program with lots of testimonials and other things that appear to guarantee your success. The question for me is do I buy the guy's book and take a boo or subscribe to the program? Well, I'll let you know.

At this point, there are a few points that are becoming very clear in this research on simplicity. Not even simplicity is simple unless you define for yourself what it means.

Simple Me, signing off to do more research!

Wisdom from Edward De Bono...10 rules of Simplicity

This man has it going on...he has even started what he hopes will become an international movement!

Here are his 10 Rules of Simplicity

1.You need to put a high value on simplicity. (Does your life running away without you count?)
2.You must be determined to seek simplicity (Ask any working mother if they have the determination to simplify their life)
3.You need to understand the matter very well. (Does a google search with 490,000 returns count?)
4.You need to design alternatives and possibilities.
5.You need to challenge and disregard existing elements.
6.You need to be prepared to start over again. (when life knocks you face down, I have to believe you are willing to try anything)
7.You need to use concepts. ( I get that, it's the details that will kill you...try talking about simplicity with an engineer)
8.You may need to break things down into smaller units.(See my comment about discussions with engineers)
9.You need to be prepared to trade off other values for simplicity. (I commit to giving up multitasking forever)
10.You need to know for whose sake the simplicity is being designed. ( I also commit that I am doing this for no one but me, me, however others will benefit)

I feel like he is talking specifically to me. This must be the right thing to do!

Energy that comes with complication

Shopping on ebay is usually as easy as pie. Find item, click purchase, have purchase shipped. Done. What could be more simple? Usually it is. This year however, I have a different story.

I purchased something from what appears to be first time seller and it has been an all holey nightmare. Not the fault of ebay but most certainly the fault of the seller. The guy has been a pain in my (you know what I mean) from the moment I won the item. We have been back and forth a hundred times and here we are merely days to Christmas and I STILL don't have my item. Interestingly enough, that isn't the real thing that bothers me. What bugs me the most is that every time I see that item, or hear my mother in law talk about it, I'm going to think of the "blankety blank" that screwed me around 50 times to get the darn item in the first place.

It got me to thinking, if something takes that much effort and there is that much crap associated with it on an emotional or energetic level, I don't want it. I would rather cancel the order and buy her something completely different so that the stupidity, complexity and junk associated with that gift would be gone. I guess I've come up with a simple solution...now the question. Will ebay comply?

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Have you ever noticed that you don't need to talk yourself into a good decision?

I don't know about you but I spend so much of my life thinking about what the right decision is and I spiral myself senseless in the process. Should I? Shouldn't I? What will happen if I do? What will happen if I don't? The crazy thing is, it's not like I'm holding someone's brain in my hand! Nothing I decide is life threatening so why do I make things so complicated. Why do we all make things so complicated?

My 13 year old has literally asked for nothing for Christmas. His birthday was a month ago and he is extremely content with his life. I have spent hours researching gift ideas for him, asked countless people and still have come up with nothing that I think will satisfy him OR me. Why am I doing this? Well because I am complicating my life based on what I think I'm SUPPOSED to do for Christmas. So I came up with a good idea today. It's easy, it's simple, it's satisfying and I almost wrote it down until I realized that he reads my blog...see buddy, I'm STILL on to you!

What's the lesson? You don't need to work so hard to come up with the right decision! The other lesson, other people's expectations only make us crazy and help us to make stupid decisions.

What's a Revolution without Oprah?

In my ongoing quest for information on simplicity, it occurred to me that I hadn't consulted the resident Guru of all things life, the Goddess of self creation, Oprah. How I could have missed it? I'm not sure. I clearly was making this project already more complicated than it needed to be.

Fortunately, I am both smart enough AND quick enough to correct my mistakes and immediately went to her website. (Did I mention that I am a subscriber so I already get stuff from her every day?) It took me approximately 2 seconds of searching before I found this link to not one article but to an entire section devoted to simplifying your life. Here is the link http://www.oprah.com/packages/upgrade-your-life.html. It is filled with practical, simple strategies for simplifying your life in pretty much all ways.

The lesson? Sometimes the most obvious thing is the thing we miss the most and is most likely the only thing we need to see. Most profound! The second lesson? When in doubt ask Oprah. She knows everything!